Sometimes i seek religion. I don't mean that i seek a NEW religion as the one I lay claim to I like just fine. It speaks to me. It Connects with me. it jives. It gives me the answers to my most important questions or at least is open in a way I can get on board with. My personal brand of religion has several deep roots in quakerism and unitatrian universilim. The core concepts, the things that are make or break for me are the same. Well, the vocabulary may be different but the ideas are the same.
I find comfort in the traditional 'some one talks, we sing, we do call and responce' format of the unitarian universalists. Even if it's lay lead I LIKE that Probably a left over from my (liberal) methodist background. The silent meeting of quakers has a place and i DO enjoy it but with so many of my little ones underfoot and no time in the near future i will be little one free that just wont work. I can't meditate on spirituality/god/goddess/devine with someone pulling at my skirt asking for gold fish crackers every 5 seconds.
What i am seeking in religion is... structure? I don't like the word but it's the only one i can find to fit what i search for. There are plenty of people who practice a structured paganism. Many i don't agree with and even the ones i do I just cant find the right group. Not yet, maybe at some point I will. But what i want is more. Something now. Faith is lived everyday. I can live my faith myself. but i don't want to. I want to live it with others. I want to have a 'group' one with general shared beliefs but more then that general shared CUSTOMS. I miss having joint Things To Do. I crave the Tradition.
Quakers call to me in this way. Although i have to get over some of the vocabulary issues and translate it into "molly-ease'" sometimes. but... its not perfect. I like the traditions of conservative quakers, of catholics, of shakers, of mennonites, but I like the liberalism of socialism, of unitarian universalists, of wicca. I don't seek someone to tell me what to believe, what to have faith in. I seek people to share my faith with. I don't want to be lead, or to be the leader. I simply wish for a few souls who lean a bit crooked as well to join me on the journey.